Yes.. the mother somehow convinced her child that there’s an angel in this school and she is called a teacher and she will show you the correct path and love you unconditionally.The poor child had full faith in his mother.

At school, the boy saw a cheerful smart and enthusiastic woman, who lovingly welcomed him inside. She played with him, sang to him and taught him letters. Yes she was an angel .She also instilled hope in mother as she had all that tricks to deal with him. There was a drastic improvement in his IEP. But sad to say, it didn’t last for so long. She became sick and soon she left the job. But thankfully before leaving she made him comfortable with another teacher. Yes she was a real Angel.

Poor child.. he missed his Angel but no one noticed that. He  continued going to  school hoping that the angel will come back one day.

Unfortunate to say, one fine day that new teacher too.. stopped coming to School. Nobody said anything about the absence of the new teacher and he too didn’t have words to ask for. Boy waited for one or two days hoping that the new teacher is on leave and then started showing tantrums and meltdowns. No…. his teacher didn’t come back. Poor mother had a tough time convincing the child.

As days passed by, another new teacher came but she was very new to this field.And She tried her best and slowly the child started liking her. He became comfortable in her presence but Again it too didn’t last so long. She got another job and went off. The child had a tough time last year. Almost three teachers changed in a year. He don’t remember their names. He don’t know what they were all up-to. His IEP remain unchanged with no progress. It got stucked where the angel teacher had stopped and went off. But he still continued going to school hoping that one day his Angel would come back.

To all those teachers who leave their profession and who forgets their ethics, please do remember that

There’s a child in the school who is still counting that year and the date because on the day you were leaving, you told him a date unknowingly as your return date when asked for.

There’s also a child who lost his smile when he heard that you are on leave.

Sadly there’s another child who didn’t sleep in the  night because  you were on leave that day.

Yes there’s a child who saw the World through you and he loved you so much that your absence made him sick.

Finally  there’s a mother on the other side of the road waiting and working tremendously only to see her happy child.

For you it’s just a job, but for us you are Angels sent by God to do miracles on our kids with your tricks.

When I was a kid I hardly remember any teacher leaving our school. I did my schooling in a private school where the teachers weren’t highly paid like these days but were very ethical to their profession. It’s fact that because of the love for teachers, we learned certain boring subjects. But today when we see the frequent step downs in this profession, I feel skeptical as to the ethics they hold up on. I cannot imagine what would be if there was a change in my economics teacher or to my social studies teacher. Being called the neuro typical or normal, if that change was hard for me, imagine that plight of a neuro divergent who has so many other disparities. It’s so sad when  teachers hold no ethics to their profession especially the one’s teaching special needs.

Regards

Preetha Anoop Menon

Last day little Siddhu came and asked me can he involve his brother also to painting activity which he was doing. I was very well OK with it because l knew Sivaa likes to mess with paint and water. Siddhu wants to make Sivaa paint a mountain and was verbally prompting him to do it inside the lines. At one point, it went from prompts to reinforcers which made me over hear their conversation
As it is a one side conversation let us listen to Siddhu..Chetta, Do you want to give your paintings to exhip…!!!Chetta… Didn’t you hear me? Do you want to give your paintings for exhip!!! I mean do you want to showcase your paintings?
Siddhu explained; Don’t you remember going to painting exhip…. a few weeks back of Brian Chettan🙄🙄 now I got it…. Siddhu meant exhibition😀😀If you paint well, you can take your paintings to exhip.. …?You know I paint well, see this picture… I painted… Does this look nice… My paintings are always there in exhip…..?Like Brian Chettan I also paint well. Sivaa chetta do you want to become like me and Brian Chettan whose paintings are always exhip…? Paint paint…. You have to finish this whole book… Then I will take your paintings for exhi.p..?
Wow…. Good job…. You are good painter 🙄🙄🙄😀😀😀😀.In return Sivaa gave a tight slap on his shoulders…Oh God…. The Feeling of maximum irritated response..🙊🙊🙊😆Little Siddhu came running to me…Amma ,did you see Chettan hit on my shoulders.Yes siddhu I saw that…. Why did he do that Siddhu?He wanted to colour more to which I said it’s done…so he hit me Amma… You said done… No No…. I said good job like you say know when it gets over… Oh poor Siddhu 😀😀#Toto #adikkana #kayil #vecho… #Fhoo #fhoo #mere #pass #dho…😆😂Sivaa doesn’t know to say that to siddhu.Sachu your paintings are an inspiration for Siddhu…Anita Pradeep🤗🤗🤗Luckily Siddhu only knows Brian otherwise he would compare himself with other great Artists…

A temple visit

After the school hours, Siddhu was feeling lethargic and tired. The full day class was new to him. He hasn’t equipped himself to the new routines. He was very inattentive and sleepy in the evenings. But thankfully he was eating well. Last day when his teacher also said the same thing our anxiety shoot up. I talked to Siddhu and found that going early to school and coming back in bus late evening was little too much for him and he was feeling totally tired at the end of the day. When I was explaining my own concepts to put him back to routines, Anoop interfered and said that he should go to the temple daily in the evening. I pretty much liked the idea. It reminded me of my childhood days where going to temple was a part of the day. I was also happy because if Siddhu goes to temple daily, I had every chance to send Sivaa also to temple. I start my day by going to temple but that wasn’t working with my children because they need to go to school early. So Anoop’s idea of sending boys to temple was very much welcomed by me.

Siddhu was super thrilled and happy because he was going to a place alone and also with an additional responsibility of taking care of his Chettan. Siddhu took his bath and was all set ready by 6 o’clock in the evening. Sivaa also became ready by 6.10. Now it was the preparation time. I told Sivaa that you are going to temple with Siddhu and he will tell you the do’s and don’ts inside the temple and you have to listen to him. Also reminded Sivaa that he is your baby brother and you should hold his hands and to never leave him alone. I was pretty much confident to send them because I knew both know the rituals to be practiced inside temples and Sivaa only needed verbal prompts in between.

Finally they headed towards the temple which is a walkable distance maybe less than 200metres from our house. I couldn’t wait inside the house. I just followed them from far behind. I could see them walking holding hands through the sides of the road.Finally I saw them taking that turn to go inside the temple. They might have entered the temple, I heard the bell for Deepa aradhana. My heart flutters out of anxiety.. I thought to myself… What will they do? It will take another 5 to 10 minutes or more to open. Will Siva wait? Will he run and make sound? If he does will siddhu be able to control him? I thought of taking a wrong decision. I remember telling them to have a quick darshan and to come back. But why aren’t they out made me anxious. It was even okay for me if they come outside before the Nada reopens. I wasn’t doubtful as to whether they removed the t shirt before entering because I knew they were aware of that out of practice. I was anxious as to whether Siva will touch the priest when he gets out after the pooja. I was anxious as to whether he will spit the Holy water that will be sprinkled over as soon as the Nada opens. Those who know the temple rituals will know, if a child does all these, how lengthy is the procedure of puniyaha kriya and how expensive it is.

Standing outside thinking all those made me feel super exhausted. I had not taken my bath otherwise I would have entered the temple. I began to ask people who passed by after having darshan as to whether they found two children. But none of them remember seeing two children. By then I was panicked totally and was looking through all the possible ways to have a glance of them.

I heard someone was calling me. I just looked back. My neighbor Aunty. I was feeling little relieved to see a familiar face to ask for help. She enquired as to Why didn’t I enter inside? She said that she saw both of them and asked for me and they said they have come alone. Finally I was feeling relieved. I took a deep breath. She continued again. They both were waiting patiently holding each others hands for the Nada to open. She was standing just behind them. She also said they were yet to finish the three prathakishanas. I was super thrilled and happy as I cried out of joy. I didn’t wait to see them. I ran back home to make them feel I’m immensely proud of them.

When they came back home I hugged and kissed them and with tears rolling down I said…Amma is proud of you two… So siddhu asked me… If you are proud of us, then why are you crying to which said I got panicked for a moment when I didn’t see you. But he explained in an appealing way as to how Nada got closed as soon as they entered, how he took 3 pratikshinas and every time he was in front of Devi…how he chanted all the three Namas. I didn’t ask anything about Sivaa.. I could figure it out how good he was throughout the Darshan.

Lesson learnt

Never underestimate the power of teaching even a small thing.

To be continued…

Like any other Parent, to reach this level was quite difficult for me. Long back, when Sivaa was two years, his playschool teacher had warned me, seeing some features of asd in him. But I stopped sending Sivaa to that school.Then when my own father told me that he has some problem, I stopped talking to my father for a while. When Anoop consulted with a Paed, some of his apprehensions about Sivaa, I fought with him literally. When the whole state was enlightened with autism, by seeing Sukesh Kuttan and star singer. I remember switching off the TV, whenever the channel boosts his program in between other programs. That time my comfort zone was with my mother in law because she kept reminding me that there’s nothing wrong about him.

At that time my only apprehension about him was his speech delay. We thought to consult him to a speech therapist. When she also doubted some asd features in him saying she is also mother to a special child, l remember scolding her for comparing my child with her child. My denial for acceptance had led me to a state of withdrawal from everything and everyone. I started holding Sivaa to myself. I never took him outside. Slowly I was moving to a stage of depression. But I remember the only positive thing I did that time was I continued going to temples and was chanting Sahasranamas. And also Anoop was consistently taking him outside after his office hours. During morning hours Sivaa was also going to another play school where they didn’t doubt anything special about him.

After a month or so my brother came down to Kochi and he took all of us to Amrita Hospital where Sivaa was finally diagnosed. I remember fainting myself in front of the doctor but he instilled hope in me saying…he is trainable. But by that time knowingly or unknowingly Sivaa was toilet trained and was manageable Outside because his father had mastered him in something called Natural Environment therapy(NET). For me I had struggled only with denial for acceptance. Once I reached that stage of acceptance I have never allowed his diagnosis as hurdles to my way of parenting. But still there was a cry for help as I had posted in one of my blogs. But it didn’t last for so long. As a women and as a mother I had become stronger by that time…i don’t know how…maybe the power of Sahasranamas. I began to find my way of teaching him when others fail. I remember teaching him the concept of ‘wait’ in restaurants by asking him to sip water. And also teaching him to put his hands inside pockets while walking between people to avoid unnecessary pokes and touches. I remember teaching him to come back to his seat, when he is outside and he wants to run or walk for some time.

Now I have accepted and understood that it’s just a different way of parenting and at no point regret about my life connecting with autism. And I strongly believe that they understand everyone and even every actions we do. It’s just that they are not able to communicate back to us like the way we thinks.

And now if you ask me about my strongest desire for the present moment, I would say that it’s a device to understand the thought process happening inside my child’s brain because my son is eagerly searching for a word in Avaz which I have not yet uploaded in it.

The positive mantras that I strongly believe and which keeps me going are we should Never ever give up ..And also when the whole world says give up, it’s hope that whispers to us let’s try one more time. So Never lose hope.

Also uploaded a video of him skating.

Regards

Preetha Anoop Menon

Through this post, I’m trying to explain the anxiety level of we special mom’s as its nearing the reopening date of school after the summer vacation. Let’s hope and pray for the complete empowerment of the whole community.

It’s nearing the reopening date, the mother is anxious about the new academic year.

She remembers all those stress she went through the last academic year.

She remembers all those rollercoaster ride to school as when the school rings her up.

She remembers how her heart pounds, while passing through the pages of school communication book.

For her, these two months of summer break was the preparation and grooming of her child to the next academic year.

She didn’t take a break like you thought her to be, neither her child.

She lost her sleep and she seems temperamental ..

yes it’s nearing to that crucial date.

Unlike other mom’s she didn’t aspire to accomplish anything,

she just hopes and prays for a peaceful year.

Her friend says…it’s nearing to your METIME to make her happy, she seems unbothered.

She prays for a safe and acceptable environment for her child.

She hopes and prays for a teacher this year too who passes the same unconditional love to her child.

She can also be a mother so apprehensive, as her child is moving to a new school where everything seems different.

She is also a mom, whose child is already warned for misbehavior last year in an inclusive school.

She can also be a mom, in search of a suitable school as her child is not co operating in any of the schools.

She is also a apprehensive mother, who got a message from school as to an unexpected hike in school fees which she finds difficult.

She’s a mom, who have done enough of early interventions and she is anxiously waiting for her child’s first day at school.

Sadly she’s also a mother, who homeschools her child..

She seems shattered, overwhelmed and lost.. Waiting and waiting as to when she will be empowered to defeat her apprehension…

To my little Siddhu

Amma is immensely proud of you.

Not for being brilliant but for being sweet and simple

Not for being obedient, but for being compassionate.

Not for being silent, but for being thoughtful and talkative

Not for being neat and tidy, but for being active and smart.

Not for being the topper, but for showing the enthusiasm.

Not because you are a fast runner, but seeing You not giving up

Not because you are sharing and caring, but seeing your unconditional love

Not because you are happy but you make others feel good and happy

Not because you paint well, but when you imparted your knowledge to others.

Not because you love me the most, but you showed respect and caring when I needed it most.

Not because you learned to make boat, but when you started making creative things with paper.

Not because you cleaned your space but when you offered to clean your brothers space

Yes I’m proud of you. Immensely proud of you

when you said it’s okay to be different.

When you wanted me to go back to my profession.

When you allowed me to take a short nap by looking after Chettan, when I was sick.

When you stood up for a disabled child of your class.

I became a proud parent. With lots of love.

Amma..😍😍😍

Regards

Preetha Anoop Menon

Siblings story

Seeing Siddhu sad, I asked him the reason…he broke down in tears , which is a very rare scene in the house. He hugged me tightly… I kept asking him what’s the reason…
Did you hurt somewhere?
No…
Did you fall down?
No..
Then, what happened…
He showed me the broken mouth organ..Oh God; I thought… This will really hurt him..
I didn’t have the strength to ask him as to who broke it… I knew it…
Oh God; How should I comfort him… This is so sad… I knew how much he liked that… How new was it? How proud he was after receiving that surprise gift from his Acha… Siddhu after pouring down onto my shoulders continued…
Do you know Amma who broke this? Chettan…. Finally he broke my favorite thing? When it began crossing the limits…i interfered …. Because I don’t like anyone talking bad about Sivaa? Even if it’s my favorite Siddhu..
I understand your feelings Siddhu? But don’t you remember Achan and Amma had warned you about keeping your things safe.. And you also know that your brother like long scale like things… It was your duty to keep your things safe. Still I feel so sorry for you.
Immediately he replied… This is unfair and very Partial.. You are always on Chettan side.
Sigh…he is no more my little Siddhu. His words prove that he has grown up.I didn’t expect that.. I wanted to convince Siddhu that I was also equally hurt with his brothers doing’s .I moved to Sivaa Side and took the broken piece in my hand and asked him who did this? He pointed to himself… I pretended like I was going to beat him, and I asked him whether he will do that again? He wanted to answer but nothing came out… I moved the iPad and he pressed the no folder. And he also said sorry to siddhu through Avaz… I was having a mixed feeling…for Sivaa being able to express himself and for Siddhu being hurt this much.Oh Thank God; Siddhu was feeling little relieved…And to add more Josh to it… Anoop commented that … ആ വെളളക്കാരനേ കൊണ്ട് ഒരു sorry പറയിച്ചപ്പോൾ നിനക്ക് മതിയായില്ലേ. In Avaz I’m using the voice of an English child named Justin… We thought the story ended up there, but it was getting more emotional.. I saw Siddhu sitting near to Sivaa explaining about how he was feeling… I thought let him pour down… It was needed at that time.. Listening to Siddhu made me cry.Chetta how much I loved you.. How many kisses I give you daily… When you cry how many times I have felt sorry for you.. I have absolutely no problem in sharing my chocolates or ice creams or jilebi with you. Still you don’t like me.. I was waiting for that day you will come and play with me… I showed you how to use that mouth organ know… But still you played it by throwing it down…it’s not a scale or Spoon that you play with…This time you hurt me so much Chetta…it was my favorite toy. Today I’m going to tell Acha that I don’t want flute… I’m sure you will break that too.. It’s not easy to hide things from you.. I’m not going to talk to you anymoreI could see Sivaa was listening to it..
I went for a long shower. At that point it was very much needed to comfort myselfAha… The shower changed the whole scenario of the house..My chatterbox was never moody and sad by then . Chetta can you switch on the light for me… Shall we go and sleep… Chetta you are so funny..
I love you Chetta…you know one thing chetta; you and vyan(cousin) are so cute…. Ummah…. Ummah.

To be continued…

Regards

Preetha Anoop Menon

As usual I woke up at Six hearing the alarm from the biological clock, I ran to the kitchen reminding a thousand things to do.. After an hour Anoop woke up…and gave me that look for tea which I completely ignored, as all the stoves were filled up.. but he kept looking at the Induction to which I reminded him about the latest EB bill and as I turned back, he was nowhere seen. By that time children were up, and it was nearing to little Siddhu s bus time. I was waiting for the milkman to come so that Siddhu can also drink a cup of milk before he leaves to school. I reminded the milkman that he was late today to which he passed a not so funny joke, I had no choice left than to laugh with him and move on. Packing all the 4 boxes, two lunch and two snacks boxes were the most difficult job I find despite everything. It requires a lot of thinking. Hope you all remember the mindfulness that I have mentioned in one of my post while filling Sivaas snack box. Oh God.. the bus will soon reach our lane. Siddhu is still half way. With one hand Anoop was feeding him and with his other hand he was trying to tighten the belt, Sivaa is also standing next to him, asking for a share from his brothers plate.. Seeing all these, I shouted at siddhu for behaving like a KG boy to which he said even I’m telling the same thing to Acha and he is not listening. I was loosing it… Took a deep breath and Ignored that too because I didn’t have the energy and time to fight with them. I knew it was getting late for Sivaa too who need more prompts than Siddhu. Finally Siddhu was ready and as he stepped out of the gate, I saw him not applied the moisturizer and I ran and took the moisturizer and applied it all over, when I came back I overheard a conversation between the father and son to pedal the cycle to the boarding point which again I completely ignored for my own sanity. Back home , Sivaa was waiting for my verbal prompt for the next step as to apply soap and lather while bathing, I remember doing multiple tasks at a time and I saw Anoop coming back carrying the cycle after dropping Siddhu. I asked him why did he pedal the cycle back in a sarcastic way. He didn’t reply to it because he knew I don’t like all these complications at peak of the hour.

Without any prompts Sivaa was ready for the breakfast and he ate well.we were running out of time. Now Sivaa has to dress up and it’s a long process. I could hear the horn of Auto uncle. As Sivaa was not yet done, Anoop went out to give Auto Chettan a company, finally Sivaa was ready and put the bag on his shoulders and when he was about to enter the auto, I saw that he has put the shoe on wrong Side. I made him put it back correctly and finally he was inside and as the auto started moving away, through our lane, Anoop came running and said, Preetha he missed to take his Snack Box. Hearing that I was totally desperate. I thought to myself, despite this much hardwork he forgot to take his favorite snacks, I couldn’t believe it although.. but I was totally exhausted by that time and I started crying. Seeing that Anoop came and hugged me saying he was just fooling around … 😡😡😠Oh God… I wish I had a knife at that moment… You are gone for ever… Mr Anoop.

I know this would be the same in every house except the Sivaas portion..

Autism related post

Theworldofneurotypical

I have always mentioned about the bright side of the siblings. There’s much more to it, which is untold and sometimes unheard. True that.. This little one’s make our day, but sometimes we find it difficult to make their day. One day little Siddhu came and asked me a very common question which children of his age usually ask but it stuck deep in my mind. He asked a simple question as to how much I love him. Even though my answer was satisfactory to make him feel, I just began to think about it later …Siddhu is very attached to me from the day he was born. He would never sleep without me. He would wait until I finish my work and make sure I accompany him. When I feel sick, he would be around me and would help me make comfortable in anyway possible. Slowly I also found a comfort zone in his presence. I too started sharing my day with him. He would listen to me and would tell some cute suggestions which would end up funny. Slowly I started realizing that he was also getting closer to Sivaa and was getting upset when Sivaa was having a meltdown. He began to engage him so much hoping for a miracle until one day I told him everything about his brother and his condition. I had no choice other than to knowingly forget his age.I taught my siddhu to be proactive in front of Sivaa because that was a skill needed for surviving with his neuro divergent brother. When I share a piece of cake or a chocolate to both of them, Sivaa would finish his share fast and try to pull out the share from his brother. So siddhu should be proactive at that time if he had to finish that peacefully. Knowingly I forgot he was too small to learn the skill. Thereby Siddhu started sharing a portion from his piece too. I had no choice other than to witness that. I also taught my little Siddhu to be mindful knowingly forgetting his age as I had no choice. If he wants to go for cycling or wanted to go outside and play.. He has to make sure his brother is inside and gates are closed.Schools often label them as attention seekers. They seek attention because they get little attention to their childish acts and cuteness because we are busy parenting the neuro divergent. They imitate their sibling and get scolded for. But for them, it’s an act to get impulse attention from parents. Unlike other children, they need to adjust to a lot of things. At such situations, we mothers knowingly forget their age. A few months back we went for a tour to a place Siddhu was so excited for but unfortunately when we reached there Sivaa became sick and was restless and we had no choice left than to return back.One day Siddhu wanted to show me how he pedals without support wheels. I was curious to see that because only two days were passed as Anoop had removed the support wheels. I was so happy for him and very excitingly I asked him as to how did he learned the skill so fast…His reply put me in tears… I learned by falling off many times. He showed me all the bruises in his arms and knees. I felt proud of him as he had already learned the surviving skill.This story never ends here. It goes on and on. To all those mom’s who wanted me to share my story about the changes in Sivaa after Siddhu was born….. This is for you…. It was never so smooth as you see… It was not so embracing as you feel… It also has the struggles and sacrifices of a little man who loves his brother unconditionally.

A small world with lot of beautiful souls

My love gestures to those who have understood and accepted my son’s diversity.

To that paediatrician with whom we never had to wait. Sivaa was always his first preference.

To that Nurse who fights with other patients to make it possible for Sivaa

To that neuro and psychiatric Doc in Tcr who always tell us to mention his name in the reception so that he gets preference pass.

To that dentist who by loving him so much , makes his appointments with her so easy.

To that Aunty in his previous school who looked after him as her own child.

To that Aunt of mine who always prepare and bring Sivaas favorite dishes

To that barber who made the haircut easier for him

To that Pappad(Applam) seller who makes pappad according to our preference.

To that priest of temple who always does puja for him even if I forgets his star sign every month.

To that sweet seller who always offer his favorite sweet (jilebi) by giving the fresh one.

To that uncle who pass through our gate every day and waves at him.

To that milkman who waits patiently till Sivaa comes and picks up the milk.

To that fish seller who offers fresh fish saying if I don’t give him the best God will never give me a chance to survive.

To that auto uncle who takes him to school accepting his diversity

To that Maid of mine who is always ready to take care of him, whenever I have an emergency

To that teacher of his school who always treat Sivaa as her own child.

To that swim trainer who understood his passion for swimming.

To that A/C mechanic who would run to our house leaving all his work behind when I say that Sivaa didn’t sleep last night as a/c was not working.

To that neighbors who would slow their vehicles while they see Sivaa playing outside.

Thank you so much on this journey together.