Last two three weeks, we were all busy and altogether upset and more shocked by the sudden demise of our Grandmother during Diwali time. She was a great human being and Anoop was very affectionate towards her. Knowing Anoop’s intimacy with her, it was more like my duty to be with him to support and bring him back to reality. Knowingly or unknowingly I had to leave my support network with Sivaa as I wasn’t able to handle all the things smoothly thereafter. Praying and assuring his safety I gave him to those bunch of hands who offered to help at that peak of time. That became a hope and assurance that he will live his life when we both are not in this world.
He didn’t panic… nor he didn’t act neither react…. He just moved on with the flow of waves. He was so cooperative that he proved to me that he could wait in front of the ccu for hours and hours and at times he slept in those less comfortable waiting chairs. All these years I was worried about his sleep pattern, I would make everything comfortable so that he gets good sleep. But I witnessed that he could even sleep in couch in the middle of a noisy chat room. He quietly sat with all of us during the funeral day. I could witness that he was also in pain at times seeing his loving Achan s sad face. But he didn’t weep or make a sound. And finally when the body was taken for funeral, he quietly sat behind us to bid adieu to his Great Granny. I’m using that word ‘Normal’ because it all went normal and natural as it should be… I didn’t bother to think my son was special needs. He even surprised me by waking up at 2 ‘O’ Clock and having his bath and getting ready to go to Tirunavaya for doing the final rituals.
The child who needed verbal prompts from morning brushing activity to evening bed time activities was never seen there. He was all set ready himself by others instructions and commands. Even little Siddhu couldn’t be with as him as he was also equally shocked and confused. I still remember asking Smita Avasthi Mam during a seminar at Cochin as to how to stop giving verbal prompts while he was taking bath. And I know how much I struggled to make him Independent in bathing.
Today when I’m writing this, Sivaa is in school pestering his teachers but I’m proud of his morning routines. He didn’t wait for any verbal prompts for brushing or bathing nor washing his hands before or after his meals. He buttoned his shirt and managed to self care was all set ready to get in to the auto before time.
This is definitely a wake up alarm for both of us. we were too much bothered and concerned about him. By doing so, we failed to give them opportunities and rather we did it for him. But it’s a fact that these children know how to tackle, explore and exploit the situations. Now it is left to us as to how to pass on the ball to them.
When Anoop gets healed as the time pass by, let him get surprised and super happy seeing how far his son has achieved through that little time he was not with him.
when the whole world says give up, its the beautiful hope that whispered to me one more time..
Take it slow Mom’s… They are definitely following us.
Preetha Anoop Menon