Little pissed off with writer Subhash chandran and another writer from women’s web.
As soon as the child is born and is diagnosed with any disability, we mothers are also segregated and given that special tag. In every house it’s the mother that changes and adapts herself to the norms of raising a special child. A newly diagnosed childs mother undergoes tremendous stress, anxiety and depression and also through a state of denial for acceptance. During these stages it’s the inspirational stories of successful mother’s and the love and support that she receives from both the families which instills hope and confidence in every mother. But unfortunately people disagree to this and makes the life of every disabled mother more miserable.
Last week a Malayalam writer said it’s the unhappy woman in marriage give birth to autistic kids. He was very naive and insensitive to pass such filthy comment about a very sensitive topic.A newly diagnosed childs mother who is struggling to find an answer for the question ‘why me’ hear such rude comments she will definitely think of killing herself and therby the life of the special child gets effected very badly. People somehow fail to understand that part of motherhood.
During our initial stage of parenting, it all started with trial and errors. Nobody gets any training or attends any rehab program’s. But we are constantly being cursed for bad parenting. This life that every special mother lives was never our choice.. Like any other woman we too dreamed of a Career and a normal life .
The saddest part apart from all these is that, if we write or speak about our journey sometimes you criticize us saying we are trying to glorify motherhood or disability. Two weeks ago when Arpita yadav told her life story on a National platform to gain inclusion and more acceptance towards disability, I was shocked when a writer of womens web magazine titled it as Inspiration Porn and as glorification of motherhood. But truly speaking when all the other works are getting appreciation why aren’t we being denied the same. But Some other times you have also admitted that our journey is quite inspirational. But for us mom’s when we speak or write about our journey,we are only trying to create awareness, inclusion and acceptance within and outside our society.
It is always acceptable when you term our journey as journey to a road less traveled but that doesn’t mean that you can be always be ignorant of the fact. I know a few of my friends who are out of disability parenting had told me once that parenting a neuro typical and neuro divergent is all the same that both donot listen to parents. Truly speaking, there’s no one instance that Sivaa had disobeyed me and several times siddhu has. But that also doesn’t mean parenting Sivaa is easier or he is an easy kid.
So going forward people it is a humble request from a special mom that instead of creating a disability taboo or segregating us, please try to prioritize and include us by following your heart and soul.
Preetha Anoop Menon